The Season of Waiting
God’s Plan & My plan: Part 1
Hello dear readers~
It has been a few months since my last blog. (clears throat…yeah sorry it’s been awhile.) I’m sure most if not all of you understand the sentiment “life has been crazy”. In my case it has been insanely crazy, but not with life changing plans that everyone can see. These life changes have been background work, the unseen topics such as mental health healing, Religious growth, and personal development. What not to do as a single gal looking for love. HAHA there is much to learn.
As I have much to share with you all, I will spare you one book long blog by splitting this into a few short blogs. Each part is a piece of the puzzle that will reveal my long blogging drought and maybe, give some insight into what healing, learning about yourself as a person, inside and out really looks like. Shifting career goals, Single Boss Babe merging into a calmer, homemaking lifestyle. I’m not 100% sure but I have a funny feeling Gods trying to prep me for something special. It’s a mess, and a very important one! I believe my mess might help a few people out in the end as well so thus I want to share it with you, Dear Reader.
Maybe this should be called the Shifting stages of life for good. God’s plan & My plan. How these paths used to conflict, but are somehow through the mess merging together.
Prince Charming, lost, avoiding me or simply not mine to have?
One area of my life that I have been slow to discuss here on my blog is my “Love Life“*. Or the lack of said “Love Life“. 😅 As I am just around the corner of 30 years old, 27 years of life have taught me much, but relationships with the opposite sex has been lacking in about every way. And I want that to change. Which is a major change for me.
This “Love Life” is the #1 reason I’ve been so distracted, and neglecting my writing. As it seems to be the only thing I want to talk about right now.
“Love Life“* I am referring to the dating with a purpose, no sex before marriage Trad. Catholic type of love life.
A piece of advice for the new Authors:
As an author I used to think that if I don’t write every day, or publish a book every year that means I’m failing as an author. I am happy to say this is not true. That is the wrong way to look at my author career.
My Boss Babe mentality is awesome at times, very efficient, but also exhausting. The past two years I’ve been letting myself ease into writing, trying not to force it all the time. Which has left me with almost zip done. HAHAHA Who saw that coming?? Me! ME! It’s a balancing act for sure, but I want to enjoy writing, not turn it into a mad rush of to-do lists that leave me exhausted. Balance is my goal even if it takes a few years to learn. I encourage you authors to take a step back, relax on yourselves a little. Take your career serious, but live life and don’t force yourself into making your writing a to do list. Have fun with it. Relax with it and seek out a balance between your life and writing.
The Season of Waiting
Up until a few years ago I didn’t want or feel the need to have a boyfriend, or have much of anything to do with men in general. I was taught to do my own work, stand on my own, pay my bills, get a job and if you can do it yourself. Do it. I don’t need a man, I have me. (Join me as a sway my hips and shake my head to this catching tune: “I don’t need a man I don’t need a man (What?)” Miss A Kpop song. A favorite of mine for many years, I sang along to all the time as a teen.)
Thus, I grew up in that Boss Babe, don’t need no man holding me back mentality. And to be fair it has served me well for a few years. Less distractions, I suppose. 🤨🤔
I grew up with 9 brothers, but more or less spent my childhood through young adulthood with 4 out of the 9. Which let me tell you, had a bigger impact on my life than I used to think it did. My older brothers who moved out of the house before I was even 5 have become more like Dads to me. And the 4 closer in age brothers, are my bros-the ones who pick on me, get punched in the shoulder for it. And can give the sarcasm as much as they take it. 😁
Backstory:
I love my brothers and am forever grateful for them being in my life, but growing up watching my 4 closest in age brothers do their thing, I must admit I did not see the benefit or appeal to dating. HAHA Of course, dear reader take into account that I am their sister and as such have been through my fair share of teasing and normal brotherly tough love so I may say things like this without regret. My brothers are not perfect by any means, but they each have amazing qualities that make them good men now, whereas as teenagers to me, they were less than stellar to hang out with. Plainly put, they were dipstick dumb.
I was known as “miss perfect” for the simple reason that I took note of how my 4 brothers behaved and did the opposite. They were in constant trouble, I didn’t like making waves and enjoyed a more peaceful solution than fighting the rules of the house. They sought out adventure, and most of those journeys did not end well in my observance so “No thanks. I choose life” (High five for those of you who recognize this quote).
What changed my Mind on dating?
Ahh yes, the past two years I’ve been contemplating my life choices and wondering what my future plans are. As I am a future seeing INFJ gal, I can see several different paths that I could wind up traveling.
Becoming a successful Catholic Author traveling the world sharing her stories.
Becoming a successful Catholic Entrepreneur traveling, donating her time to various charities and having a rather chill, quiet life in between.
Entering the dance, and party coordination world, ending similar to the above situations. I’d become the cool Auntie in my nieces and nephews eyes, slaying in the corporate world as a Boss Babe! No man needed or wanted.
Staying in my comfortable single life, making some money and just living a happy life as best I can. It sounds nice doesn’t it?
These plans used to sound amazing, just about perfect in my mind. Then something happened.
3 yrs ago when I realized the annoying fact of my life. I’m 25 yrs old and I’ve never had a boyfriend or even a date…what’s wrong with me?
I thought I didn’t care or want this so why do I keep thinking about that fact. (throws myself princess style onto the nearest bed, sofa, or throne.)
I’ve wanted a bf or date, especially during high school. You know, someone who’s going to meet you after school, carry my bookbag for me. Ask me to Prom, attend Church functions with. (stares off into dreamy teenager cloud 9)
But, since I was a child I was given the advice that when a young man is interested in you he will approach and things will flow from there. Naively I did my own thing for years hoping one day my prince charming would approach, sweep me off my feet and show me a romantic life I’ve only imagined possible.
News Flash, Still waiting for this man to arrive…feeling a lot like Princess Fiona. I know how to Judo throw a man across the room, but that’s not romantic. Plus, I don’t think my prince charming is going to appreciate a Judo throw as a greeting.
The months, and years passed without the for mentioned events happening which left me slightly bitter toward the male sex in general. The prince charming’s were going out with many of the ladies around me…somehow missing one hot chick right here.
I mean come ON!
It’s not like I stay home 24/7 or something.
I do go to the store and buy milk once a week or so. Sheesh.
The final Nail in the single-as-can-be coffin.
Something needs to change!
When my older brother Ben married the love of his life, April, she was 18 yrs old.
18 YRS OLD!!! I’m older than April by 2 yrs. It was like a brick wall falling on top of me. She found love at 18. Seriously what is the deal?? 😭😭😭
After a good cry, I dusted my metaphorical princess dress off and with hell fire determination decided to get out there and find me a man.
Not because I needed a man to be happy, but because I wanted to know what it was like to date, to be a girlfriend. You know not be single for once. Experience this magical, romantic feeling I keep hearing about from movies, family members and the few friends of mine that are dating.
~5 yrs later~
Officially been on a date!! It was AMAZING!!
💃🤸♀️💃
No wonder women, girls, teens love going on dates. I never understood until that first date.
I won’t go into details, just know that the young man who took me out of my first date was a gentleman who paid for my meal, asked a million questions and made me laugh. Plus he loved the old Disney. Which in my family is a must as we live by quoting the best lines, singing random Disney songs, and enjoying the sarcastic characters the most. He was a great Date!
My first date led to 4 more. Then it ended. Looking back on the experience it was very good that it ended because we were too similar in our introverted nature. We both were looking for different things in life at the moment so we went our separate ways mutually.
This short lived experience left me wanting more. I thought it was just because I liked being special in someone’s eyes. But little did I know what God’s true plan was for me at the time.
It was about time someone mentioned how important it is to heal from trauma, and sometimes that healing comes from putting yourself out there to experience life in a healthy way. More like forcing it, over and over and over again until it finally works.
Part two coming soon~
Will I get another date? How about a bf?? Did prince charming set his turtle on the right road at last?
I guess it’s time to write another blog? So until next Sunday my dear readers~
I bid you a lovely week~
2 books down, and who knows how many more to come.
Thank you for reading until the end. As a self published Author/blogger any and all support is appreciated! Have a comment or thought to share? Type away in the comments. 🙂
Write on~
Cecilia
I absolutely loved your blog! You have such a great personality and I love hearing your thoughts!! Keep up the great work and know that God’s plan is the BEST plan♡
Hope that prince charming gets off his turtle though and onto a white horse though😂
Thank you Serena for reading and commenting! Thank you for the encouragement girl~ You’re the best! Yes indeed, God’s taking charge and showing me a thing or two about life this year. I hope your week is off to an amazing start! 😘🥰
Can’t wait to read the next one 🙂
Thank you Mary for reading and commenting!😍 Crossing fingers to have the next blog up this coming Sunday. Have a wonderful week~ 😉