Do Not Do It!

Which is sooo easy to preach and difficult to lead by example.

Let’s keep this short, sweet and simple.

Seeing my friends miss out on enjoyable moments just because they fell prey to the dreaded comparison sucks! And sometimes I find myself saying “Don’t compare yourself to them. Just don’t do it. Enjoy your win!” Then I go home and fall right smack into the same trap usually after hopping on social media.

Comparison kills all joy. It takes you out of your moment and throws you into a dark suffocating tunnel of constant fear you’ll never measure up and end your life a failure.

 

STOP RIGHT NOW!

And get back into the Moment at hand.

(Easier said than done, I know.)

Here are some great pieces of Advice to help you when you find yourself falling for that trap of comparison.

1. Never compare your chapter 1 with someone else’s chapter 50.

2. There is only 1 of you, only you can tell the story from your perspective.

3. Learn the subtle art of grounding yourself.

4. Watch how you treat yourself mentally.

EXTRA TIP: Let go of PERFECTIONISM.

Most comparison comes from within each and everyone of us. Rarely do I find people tell me,

“There’s no way you’re going to achieve that book goal like so and so did.”

“You’re way out of your league here.”

“10,000 books sold and she’s only 15 years old! You’re 26 yrs old and can barely get two books out. Why are you so bad at this?”

I may not hear this from people around me, but sometimes they are being said in my own thoughts. When I find myself getting caught up in the social media world, looking around at everyone’s success and wondering what I’m doing wrong. Some of these thoughts start bouncing around.

Without warning my mood falls, negative thoughts start spiraling out of control and the tunnel of comparison sucks the joy out of the moment. If you’re not careful and stop the spiral this negative pattern could ruin your entire day.

The biggest way to help fight comparing yourself to the success of others, is by, working on your self-talk.

A random reader “Self-Talk? Okay, so you want me to start talking to myself? Thanks, but I’ll pass.”

HAHA Not exactly. I mean if talking to yourself helps then go for it. But in this case when I say Self-talk I am talking about the voice in your head that talks to you allllll day long. Your internal voice of decision making, if you prefer this version.

The voice in your mind that is usually your own personal invisible critique.

This voice can and needs to be monitored when it comes to how you talk to yourself.

Does your inner critique call you names? Make fun of what you look like, wear or feel? Do you constantly feel as if you are bringing yourself down and unworthy of success and real love? I could go on with a million other examples, but I think you get the point.

If you said yes to any of these, then it’s time to confront your inner critique sit her or him down and have a good long chat with them.

“Hey inner critique, look I know I’m not perfect. I understand you think I need to see, feel and be aware of all my short comings and mistakes. But, it’s time to start shifting from critiquing to supporting me instead. Imagine how much more amazing life will be when I spend more time focused on the opportunities to grow and learn. Rather than focusing on how far behind I might be and every negative thought possible. I don’t need a negative Nancy, I need a supportive best friend. So from now on, if you start getting negative, I want you to remember we are best friends and we would never treat our best friends like that. We would be supportive, embracing and loving. You and I are a team, so let’s support each other starting today.”

 

“One of the sure fire ways to help yourself fight against comparison is by learning how to talk to yourself as if you were talking to your very closest and dearest best friend.” ~MCF

 

Life is tough enough as it is. Imagine how much more you will get out of life when you encourage yourself instead of tearing yourself down.

Be your own Number One fan. Be encouraging, kind and forgiving to yourself. You deserve love from both yourself and others. And never doubt the power of encouragement over self-sabotage with harsh words and hatred.

One final piece of advice for battling Comparison is to be grateful for your life as it is right now. Everyday find three things you can be grateful for right now. Comparison is often brought on by seeing things in someone else’s life that you want. Nothings wrong with wanting more out of life, but never forget to be grateful for things in your life right now.

 

Recap:

To be kind to yourself and others. Find three things to be grateful for everyday. And last but not least, be patient with yourself. This can take some time to turn into a habit. Start with the inner critique and work your way from there.

 

Thank you for reading until the end. As a new blogger any and all support is appreciated and welcome.

Write on~

Cecilia